What Makes Love The Exception?
by lordtubbingtonns
Summary: Santana's guarded, she always has been. Never tells anyone if she's upset or if something is bothering her. The only person she lets in is Brittany, she always knows what to say, what to do. What if Brittany finds out one of Santana's biggest secrets? How will she react? Trigger warning
1. Chapter 1

Santana was a very closed off person. She never liked to tell anyone about her feelings or what's happening in her life unless she has too. When her parents split up a few months ago she tried to keep it a secret for as long as she could. She knew it was her fault they separated, her dad never comes to visit her anymore, never takes her out, never even calls her anymore. She could tell that he never liked her, he would never come in to say goodnight when he got home from work and barely went out with her on the weekends. He was ashamed of her, and she couldn't blame him. Her mother is rarely home either. She says she's going on a trip for work or is going on an 'adult trip' with some of her friends. Santana knew that her mother blames her for the separation and didn't want to see her because it reminded her of her father. She could just tell.

The only person that Santana tells things to is Brittany. Brittany never judges her or tells her that she's being stupid or ridiculous. She asks Brittany over a lot when her mum isn't here so she doesn't have to be alone. She loved Brittany, she thinks more than a friends but she isn't sure. One thing she is sure about it is if she does love Brittany more than a friend that Brittany would never love her back. She's too fucked up.

"Tani!" a voice breaks her concentration.

"W-what?" Santana turned around to find Brittany inches from her.

"Can I come over tonight? Me and my sister got into a fight, and I don't want to know what my room will look like when I get home" Brittany pouted. _Right, she forgot, she was at school._

"Of course you can" Santana smiled at her.

Brittany giggled and wrapped her arms around the brunette. "Thank you! Thank you!" She tightened her grip and bounces on her feet.

"Woah, Britt, it's okay. What's gotten into you?" Santana chuckled.

"Nothing, I'm just excited! I get to see you more" Brittany let go of Santana and smiled down at her. Santana smiled back at her. "Is your mum going to be home?"

"No… she's, uh, she's on a trip for work" Santana explained.

Brittany nodded right as the bell went for their next class. "Come on," Brittany whispered and took Santana's hand, "I'll walk you to class"

* * *

"So, what do you want to do?" Santana asked as she opened the door for Brittany. As Brittany walked through, she couldn't help but stare at her ass. _Thank god for her dance skills._

"Santana?" _Oh no. _She shot her head up to find Brittany chuckling, shaking her head slightly.

"So, what do you want to do?" Brittany asks turning around again and walking towards Santana's room.

"I just asked _you_ that" Santana points out, following her. Brittany turns her head back to face her, smirking.

"I know" She facing towards the stairs again. "_I_ want to know what _you_ want to do" Santana chuckled and put her hands on her ass to push her up the stairs.

"Ooh baby" Brittany joked and stumbled up the stairs until she found Santana's bedroom door.

She held the door open for Santana and bowed when she walked by. "Welcome ma'am" She greeted.

"Why thank you" Santana said back and walked into her room. She sat down on her bed and seconds later Brittany flopped on next to her with a big sigh.

"What's up Britt?"

"Tubbington" She mumbled into the blanket beneath her.

"What about him, babe? I thought you were having trouble with your sister" Santana asks and lies down next to her.

She rolled over with a huff and slapped her arms down on the mattress. "He's been going out with his cat friends and he never wants to spend time with me anymore. Do you think he's found another owner?" She asks, with a worried expression.

"No, honey, I just think he's getting to his teenage years, and you know what they're like!" Santana tried to comfort Brittany. Brittany pouted and rolled to her.

"I know, but it still sucks" She huffed.

"Don't worry, Britt, he'll come back to you in no time" Santana assured with a smile and sat up. "Come on, I know what we can do" She extend her hand and helped Brittany sit up.

"What are we going to do?" Brittany asks, hopping off the bed. Santana turned to face her and smirked. She grabbed Brittany's hand an tugged her out of the room and down the stairs. "Are you gonna tell me?"

"Of course, we're going to cook" She let go of Brittany's hand and continued her path into the kitchen. "If you want to, its almost dinner" She continued looking at the kitchen clock, then looking back at Brittany, raising an eyebrow.

"I want to! But I don't know what to make, I've never really cooked before.."

"That's okay. We can make spaghetti, it's easy" Santana said.

* * *

An hour later they had successfully, after many attempts, made spaghetti with tomato paste sauce. They were sitting on the living room couch while watching TV. "This is actually okay, considering I made it" Santana commented. Brittany laughed and finished off her food. Once they were both done and the dishes were cleaned they went up to Santana's bedroom to get changed. "Here" Santana threw Brittany a pair of pajamas just as her phone rang. "I'll be right back" She ran down stairs to answer the phone in time.

"Hello?"

"_Santana, this is you?_" Her mother's voice came through the phone.

"_No_" she commented sarcastically. "Who else would it be?"

"Don't even start with me Santana, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be away for another week"

"Oh" She said disappointing.

"Are you going to be okay? Do I need to send the neighbor over to watch you?" Her mother asks.

"No… it's fine, Brittany's over…"

"Oh that's good honey! Look I gotta go, I'll see you as soon as possible" her mother rushed out.

"Okay, bye, I love you" with that her mother hung up._ She didn't even say she loved me back._

"Tana? Are you okay down there?" came a voice from upstairs.

"Huh… uh, yeah, I'll be right there, Britt" she replied.

_She doesn't love me, no wonder she wants to spend more time away from me. _

Sighing, she wondered back up the stairs and into her room. She picked up pajamas for herself and got changed in the bathroom. _What if she doesn't come back? What if she hates seeing me so much that she leaves like dad?_

Fully changed, she walked back into her bedroom finding Brittany already lying under the covers. "Tana, do you want to watch a movie? I know your TV in here sometimes messes up but it still works" Brittany suggested.

Santana dragged herself over to the other side of the bed and flopped onto it, drawing her legs up to her chest, facing away from Brittany. "No, I just want to sleep" She whispered.

"Are you sure? I mean, it's only 8:00"

"I'm sure. Can you turn off the light?" She asks softly, not turning around.

"O-okay" Brittany hopped out of the bed, turning off the lights, before returning to the bed. She pulled the covers over both of them and shuffled closer to Santana. When she settled in next to her, she could see and feel her shoulders shaking. "Honey, are you okay? Who was on the phone?" She asks gently, not wanting to scare Santana.

"It-it was my mum. She's not coming back for another w-week!" Santana sobs. Brittany didn't realize she was crying.

"Oh honey, it's going to be fine. You have me here with you until she comes back, don't worry" Brittany assured.

"N-no it's not! She's not going to come back!"

"Why would you think that?" Brittany asks, leaning over to see Santana's face.

"Because she doesn't love me anymore! No one does, that's why they leave! Please don't leave me Brittany, please" Santana sobbed harder and rolled over to grip Brittany's shirt.

"Oh honey, come here" Brittany dropped her head back against the pillow and pulled Santana onto her chest. "Shh it's okay, I'm not leaving" Brittany assured.

Santana had a death grip on Brittany's shirt as she cried onto her chest. She felt Brittany's fingers in her hair and started to relax, she always knew how to calm her down. "I love you, Santana. Please don't forget that" Brittany told her.

When she got no reply she figured Santana had tired herself out, but really Santana just wanted Brittany to leave her alone now. She focused on evening out her breathing while she silently cried, waiting until Brittany was convinced that she was asleep and fell asleep as well. Santana couldn't sleep. She spent the whole night crying on and off and hoping Brittany wouldn't wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

Brittany woke up to the sound of a TV turning on downstairs. "Santana?" Brittany mumbles and rolls over. When she finds the bed empty she pouts and softly hits the part of the bed where Santana had slept on. Finally, she rolled back over onto her back and pushes back the covers with her feet and hopped off the bed.

She goes downstairs and finds a very tired looking Santana on the couch curled in a blanket staring blankly at the TV screen. She's so engrossed in her own thoughts that she doesn't notice Brittany walking into the room. "What are you watching?" Santana snaps her head around to find Brittany sitting next to her.

"How long have you been sitting here?" Santana asks, shock clear on her face.

"Just a few seconds. Are you okay?"

"You just scared me a little" Santana says, turning off the TV.

Brittany pouts. "You never answered my question" she points out.

Santana sighs and gets off the couch and into the kitchen. "That's because it doesn't matter" she finally says back. "Do you want some breakfast before you leave?"

"Before I leave?" Brittany asks confused.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you want to leave now. Why would you want to spend time with me?" Brittany walks into the kitchen following Santana.

"What are you talking about? Why wouldn't I want to spend time with you? I'm pretty sure I was the one who asked to come over. I love spending time with you Tana, I don't know where all of this is coming from" Brittany finishes. Santana wasn't looking at her though, she was staring at her fiddling hands in front of her. "Santana, look at me" Santana shook her head. "Fine, if you're going to be that way, then I guess we won't go out with Quinn" Brittany says, hoping to get Santana to cheer up.

"Quinn's coming?" Santana asks, raising her head.

"Uh huh, but I guess now I'll have to tell her to stay home because you're being stubborn"

"No, no. I'm not being stubborn, I'm sorry. You can stay, forever, you can stay forever. When's Quinn coming? I want this trio to be complete" Santana says quickly.

Brittany chuckles, knowing that would cheer her up. Having them all together always makes her happier. It gets her mind off things that are bothering her.

"As soon as I call her I'm sure she'll come running, she's missed you" Santana drops her head again. "Hey, hey. None of that" Brittany says putting her hand under her chin and lifting her head. "Why don't we get some breakfast, but this time no one leaves" she suggested.

Santana smiles and nods. "I only have cereal, I haven't gone shopping in ages" she says. Taking off the blanket and putting it on the counter, she pulls two bowls out of the dishwasher and went to get the cereal out of the cupboard.

"How about we go today? With Quinnie? We can get lots of yummy foods." Brittany suggests.

Santana turned around with two different types of cereal in her hands. "I-I don't have that much money, my mum only gives me a little before she leaves…" Santana trails off.

"That's okay, Quinn and I can pay" she says, stepping forward and taking the boxes from her hands and pouring both in each bowl. When she turn around, Santana has an eyebrow raised at her. "What? I'm hungry, I know you are too". She puts the cereals back in the cupboard and pours milk in both. She hands Santana one and walks into the living and sits on the couch, Santana following.

Once they both finished and washed up, Brittany went to call Quinn.

"_Hello?"_

"Quinnith, you are coming over to Tana's now. I want to make her happy, she's been a bit sad with her mum away but I was thinking we could take her out somewhere, like swimming or something. We also need to go grocery shopping with her because she has like no food left and her mum is away for another week" Brittany told her.

"Okay I'll be right there" Quinn said before she hung up.

Brittany put her phone back in her pocket and sat back down with Santana on the couch. Right after she sat down Quinn came waltzing into Santana's house. "How did you get here so fast?" Brittany asked.

"I think you forgot that I live, like, right next door" Quinn stated the obvious before sitting next to Santana, pulling her legs into her lap. "So what's up with little Santana" Quinn asks.

"Nothing…?"

"I'm sure it's something, otherwise Brittany over here wouldn't have called me"

"But you live across the street, you come over all the time" Santana says.

"Don't you mean used to? I haven't been over in three months" Quinn points out.

"Yeah, well that doesn't matter now because you're here now, okay?" Santana says, slightly annoyed even though she didn't know why she was getting annoyed.

Santana takes her feet out of Quinn's lap and sits up straight. "Whoa, calm down, I was joking"

Santana didn't reply, instead she just crossed her arms and didn't look at Quinn. "Honey, are you okay?" Brittany asks.

"I'm fine" Santana says, still not looking at either of them.

"Quinn, why don't we go shopping? You don't have to come if you don't want to Tana. You can rest for a while" Brittany asked, rubbing circles on her back.

"Okay"

"Come on, Quinn" Brittany says, standing up and holding out hand to help her up.

They both hopped up off the couch and Brittany walked upstairs to get her bag. "I'm sorry, Santana. I didn't mean it like that" Quinn says as Brittany comes jogging down the stairs.

"We'll see you later, Tana. Try to get to sleep, you look really tired, honey" Brittany leans downs and kisses the top of her head and her and Quinn make their way out of the house.

* * *

Now that Santana was alone she didn't have anything to keep her from her thoughts. In the morning, when the sun was coming up, she decided to go downstairs and watch some TV while waiting for Brittany to get up. While she was watching TV she kept thinking of her mother and why she needed to be away for longer. Her father used to take 'business trips' before she left her. He used to be gone for a longer period of time each time he would leave.

Eventually he called and said that he wasn't going to come back because he and her mother had had too many problems and he didn't think their relationship would work out and that he was sorry. Santana never truly believed him, why should she? She knew that he left because of her, she would never do her homework and would always disobey him and she knew that it was why he left.

He was sick of her, and she couldn't blame him. She didn't think it was possible for her to piss of her mother anymore because she is never around, but somehow she gets calls from her mother saying that she's done something wrong and it ends up in screaming matches over the phone, and when she finally gets back things are awkward and they never really talk until she leaves again, and that's only to say goodbye.

She sighed and got up from the couch and into the kitchen to get her blanket again. She curled it around her body and lied back down on the couch and turned the television on again. Hoping that it would take her away from her thoughts.

* * *

"Hey, Britt? Is Santana okay? I didn't mean to make her upset earlier…" Quinn asked her while they were shopping. After they left Santana's, they went across the street to ask Judy for a lift to the shopping centre a few blocks away. Neither of them wanted to leave Santana by herself any longer then they had to.

"I think so, she's just been a little down lately. Her mum called late last night and said she's going to be away for another week. I'm pretty sure she was supposed to get back tomorrow" Brittany tells her. "She got pretty upset last night right after the phone call"

"Oh, I didn't know she would be gone for that long. Hasn't she already been gone for, like, a month?" Quinn asks.

"Yeah, around that. I hope that she doesn't call to say that she'll be gone again. It makes Tana really upset and I hate that"

Quinn nods, while continuing to grab basic foods and putting them in the cart. Half an hour later, they had gotten all the basic foods for Santana to make the rest of the week and probably a few more days, and some treats for her, hopefully to get her a little happier.

They walked outside of the shopping centre and Quinn got out her phone. "I'll call my mum, I don't feel like walking back" Brittany nods in agreement.

A few minutes later Judy pulled up and the girls jumped into the car. "Santana's mother still away?" She asks.

"Yeah, she's coming back next week but Tani had like, no food" Brittany informs her.

"Well, that's nice of you to do this for her"

"Of course we would. She's our best friend, and I love her" Brittany says with a smile. Judy turns slightly and smiles warmly at the girl, knowing how much she loved her. When she would come over to Quinn's and Santana couldn't be able to come, almost the whole time she was there she would talk about Santana and how sad she was that she couldn't come. Sometimes Quinn got annoyed at her but she understood and let her continue.

Judy pulled up in front of Santana's house and Brittany hopped out, carrying all the groceries. She turned back around when she didn't hear Quinn following her. "Aren't you coming?"

"I… I think I'm just going to go home. She was upset with me before, I don't want that to happen again. You always seem to know how to make her happy. That's all she needs" Quinn tells her truthfully.

"Well… if you're sure?" Brittany asks.

"I'm sure, you keep her company"

"Okay. Bye Quinn, I'll see you tomorrow" Brittany waves before walking into the house.

* * *

The first thing she noticed is that it seemed a little too quiet. The TV was shut off and Santana's blanket was simply laying on the couch. She walked into the kitchen and dropped the bags full of food onto the counters and straightened out her clothes.

"Tana? Where are you?" Brittany calls. When she got no reply, she walked out into the living room again and started to walk up the stairs. _Maybe she's asleep_. She reaches Santana's door at the top of the stairs.

"Tani?" She whispers as she pushes the door open gently. She pokes her head through to check if she's asleep on the bed, but finds no one. She opens the door fully and walks into the room.

The first thing she notices when she first sits down on the bed is that the bathroom door is closed. She gets off the bed and moves closer and immediately hears someone crying inside. She knits her eyebrows together and gently knocks on the door.

"Tani?" She whispers through the door. When she didn't get answer, she was considering entering the room. The sobs start to get louder and louder, but there isn't any sign of Santana coming out of the bathroom anytime soon. "Santana, I'm coming in, okay?" Brittany warns, before clutching the bathroom door handle and turning.

When she opened the door, she was surprised that what she saw. There on the floor, was a half-naked Santana, clutching a letter to her chest and sobbing heavily into her knees. "Oh, Tana" Brittany breathes out, rushing to her side.

She sits down next to her and wraps her arms around her shoulder and pulls her into herself. Santana starts sobbing even harder, if possible, and her hands start crushing the letter she's holding to her chest. "Honey, what's the letter?" Brittany asks gently.

"I-I-It's from m-m-my dad. I-I-I was g-g-gonna get in t-the s-s-s-shower, but I got the m-mail first and I-I-I-I was gonna r-r-read it before I got i-i-in the shower" Santana was about to say more, but Brittany cut her off.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay, you can explain later" She says, stroking her hair. "Why don't we get you into bed, baby? We'll get you some sleep and talk later, I promise it's going to be okay" Brittany promises. Santana just nods and leans into Brittany. Her sobs have quieted down since Brittany started stroking her hair, but she was still struggling to get a breath in.

"Stay still" Brittany slowly moves one arm from around Santana and places it under her secures them around her before she pulls Santana up and against her chest. Santana's arms tangle around her neck and she pushed her face into her neck. Brittany smiles sadly before walking her back into her bedroom.

She gently places her on the bed and pulls away from her. As she stands up straight, she can now see almost all of Santana. Brittany gasps and brings her hand up to her mouth. She wasn't expecting Santana's body to look like this. As her eyes traveled to her stomach, she stopped at the bright red marks all over the bottom of her stomach, hips, and tops of her thighs. She saw all the horrible looking bruises along her hips and thighs. She felt herself choke up and brought her other hand to her mouth.

Tears started to stream down her face, and by the look on Santana's face she knew what Brittany was looking at. "Britt…" Santana croaks. She felt so exposed, so vulnerable. She wanted to be covered up. No, she _needed_ to be covered up. "Please…" she begged. She needed Brittany to stop looking at her like that, she needed her to get her clothes.

"I'm so s-sorry Tani, I d-didn't know" Brittany said before rushing to the dresser and getting her some pajamas She used the shirt to wipe away the tears on her face and leaned back over Santana and wipes the tears on her face as well. "I-I'm going to help you. You're g-going to be okay" Brittany assured. She gently helped Santana into the clothes and helped her calm down.

She climbed into the bed next to her and pulled the covers over both on them and pulled Santana to her chest. Santana's hands found the ends of her shirt and she pushed her face into her chest. "You're going to be okay. You're gonna be okay" Brittany chanted over and over and run her hands through her hair and over her back. She gently places a few kisses to the tops on her head and her temple.

Santana started to feel her energy draining and shut her eyes, and eventually she fell asleep from her sobs. Once Brittany noticed Santana's body had stopped shaking, and pushed the hair out of her face and brushed her thumb over her cheek.

"I love you Santana, I love you so much and I don't think you understand actually how much. I promise I'm going to be here for you, no matter what happens, I'm going to be here for you. I love you" Brittany finished, a few silent tears rolling down her cheeks before she gently leaned her head on top of Santana's and shut her eyes. She too, eventually drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours later when Brittany woke up, Santana was still fast asleep on her chest. She brushed the hair out of Santana's face and brushed her thumb along her cheek. She so badly wanted to help Santana and make all her pain go away, but she had no idea how or what to do. It was only early afternoon so she gently shuffled out from under Santana and places a pillow under her head. On impulse, she leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and watched as Santana's body unconsciously wrapped herself around the pillow. She smiled at the girl before gently tiptoeing out of the room to call Quinn. She needed to tell her what happened, she know she couldn't be able to keep it in long and she defiantly knew that she needed help to make her better.

She pulled out her phone and dialled.

"_Britt?"_

"Uh, yeah. Hi"

"_Hi… why are you calling? Aren't you still with Santana?" _Quinn asked, confused.

"Yeah I am. I just really need to talk. Come over?"

"_Yeah of course, I'll be there in a second"_ Quinn replied before hanging up.

To Brittany, it seemed like Quinn was taking forever. _She lives across the street! How long can it take? _Brittany was about to go in to check on Santana when she heard a faint knocking on the front door. _Finally! _Brittany quickly jogged down the stairs to the front door was quietly as she could and let Quinn in.

"Hi, Britt" Quinn greeted with a smile. "What's up?"

"I need to talk to you" As soon as Brittany said it, Quinn frowned at the serious tone. She guided Quinn over to the couch and sat down.

"Are you okay? You're scaring me" Quinn asked. Brittany just nodded her head but wasn't looking at her, she had her eyes plastered to the floor. "Britt, look at me" She shook her head as she felt tears swelling in her eyes. "What's wrong? Where's Santana?" Quinn was starting to get worried. She needed to know what was going on, she hated to see Brittany upset. At the mention of Santana's name Brittany broke down in tears. She brought her hands up to cover her face and cried even harder. "Oh no" Quinn whispered. "Come here" Quinn opened her arms and pulled Brittany closer to her. "It's okay, everything's going to be okay" Quinn soothed her.

Brittany squirmed in her arms until she let her go. "It's not g-going to be o-okay! T-t-tana, s-she's not happy. I-I don't know w-w-what to do. I n-need to h-help her". She was crying so hard that she was having trouble breathing. She was starting to cough and was struggling to get a breath in.

Quinn moved closer to her and put a hand on her back. "Honey, you need to calm down. You're going to make yourself choke. Come on breathe" Quinn encouraged her, but it didn't seem to work. "Everything is fine, you're okay and Santana is okay. You need to breathe for me, Britt. Just in and out, come on try it with me. In and out, nice and slow" Quinn could feel Brittany's body start to calm down. "Good girl" She whispered.

Quinn was still incredibly worried, she had no idea where that had coming from. Brittany seemed perfectly fine before she left. How could something horrible happen in such a small window of time?

Quinn pulled Brittany almost impossibly closer and held on. Brittany eventually turned her head and pushed her face into Quinn's neck and clamped her eyes shut. Quinn rubbed circles on her back and waited for her to calm down fully.

Brittany pulled out of the embrace after a while and wiped away her tears. "I need to tell you something, Quinn" Quinn nodded and waiting for Brittany to continue. "When you left yesterday, I was trying to find Santana for a while because s-she wasn't downstairs… and I eventually found her in the upstairs bathroom but, Quinn. Um, she, ah, hurts herself? I'm not sure how to say this, but I'm scared and i have no idea what to do and please don't tell her that I said this before she's just going to get mad at me and hate me and never want to see me again or talk to me again and I can't have that because I love her so much and I don't want to lose her and I don't want her to be alone because she gets scared and but I don't know what to do to help her and now I'm scared because I don't want her to die because I don't think I could live without her" Brittany finished, her chest heaving and her face slightly red. She was kind of surprised that Santana hadn't woken up and come down from all the found she's been making.

Quinn was taken aback but Brittany's whole speech. _What does she mean by she hurts herself? _"Britt, calm down. It's kind of hard for me to process this if you're talking that fast" Quinn told her. She heard Brittany whisper an apology, so she decided to continue. "What do you mean by 'she hurts herself'?" She asked carefully, not wanting to set Brittany off again.

Brittany took a deep breath before starting. "She, uh, she… cuts herself" Brittany said quietly. Quinn's face immediately dropped and she felt like she was going to burst into tears.

"Um, where is she now?" Quinn asked softly, neither of them looking at each other.

"She's in her room. She's asleep"

"And she's okay?"

"No, I don't think so" Brittany said sadly. She didn't know how much longer Santana would be asleep and she didn't know if it was a good idea to have Quinn here when she did. She knew that Santana loved Quinn but she didn't think that Santana would appreciate Brittany telling her all of her deepest and darkest secrets. She didn't want Santana to have another breakdown.

"Quinn, I know I just said that I don't think that I can do this alone, but I think she's going to be up soon and I don't think her seeing you here with me telling you everything that happened would make her very happy and I don't want her to have another breakdown" Brittany explained. She didn't want Quinn to leave but she didn't want her to stay either.

"Don't worry, Britt. It's okay, just tell me if she's any better when she wakes up, okay?" She asked, standing up. Brittany stood up with her and walked her to the door.

"I will, I promise" Brittany replied. She stepped forward and hugged Quinn. She felt better about telling someone else so it wasn't on her chest, but she felt a little uneasy about what Quinn would do with what she just told her. She pulled back and looking into Quinn's eyes. "You can't tell _anyone_ about this, okay?" Brittany said sternly.

"I won't I promise, I would never do that" Quinn promised. They gave each other small smiles before Quinn opened the door and left. When Brittany turned back around she was extremely shocked at what she saw.

"What were you two talking about?" Santana asked, almost coldly. Brittany lowered her head, intimidated by Santana's gaze on her.

"Um, I, uh" Brittany cleared her throat. "I was telling her about what happened earlier, with you-"Santana cut her off.

"You did what!? Why would you do that?" Santana demanded. Brittany was a little scared at Santana's tone of voice but she could detect a lot of sadness in with it.

"I didn't know what to do, I was scared Santana. I didn't know how to help you" Brittany said and finally looked up at Santana. They made eye contact for a second or two before Santana bowed her head and tears started to slide down her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry, I n-n-never meant for y-you to know" Santana sobbed. Brittany quickly moved forward and captured her in a hug and felt her cry even more.

"Shh, it's okay. It's all going to be okay" Brittany tried to sooth her but Santana tensed and pulled away roughly.

"It's not going to be okay. What if she tells someone? Everyone is going to know! Everyone is going to hate me even more" Santana practically yelled. _Shit. _Brittany moved forward again and tried to hug her again, but Santana didn't have the same reaction as before.

"No, no" Santana cried as she pushed Brittany away. "No, it's not okay! Can't you see that?" Santana began pulled off her shirt before dropping it to the ground in front of the both of them. Brittany stared at her with wide eyes. "Look at me! Look! I'm ugly. My stomach is fat, all fat!" Santana screamed and she started to unbutton her pants.

"San, honey, plea-"

"No! Look at me! I'm disgusting. I'm nothing. You see these?" Santana pointed to her thighs. "These scars? Look, they're everywhere. You can't love me. I'm not worth being loved! I'm too disgusting to be loved. Just leave me alone. You'll be better off without me anyway." Santana cried. Her voice got softer and softer by the end of her outburst and she felt like she was breaking.

"Honey, no. None of that is true." Brittany tried to get closer to Santana but she quickly grabbed her clothes off the floor and backed up.

"Can… can you just go? I-I want to be alone." Santana mumbled, trying to stop her tears. She turned around and started to run up the stairs. When she didn't hear Brittany moving behind her, she turned around. "Go!" Santana shouted before running to the top of the stairs.

* * *

Once she was back inside her room she allowed her tears to fall. She quickly ran into the bathroom and closed the door, she dropped her clothes on the tiles and looked at herself in the mirror. She felt disgusted at what she saw, her hip bones stuck out and her ribs were visibly showing. She ran her hands over the scars on her hips and moved them to her stomach. She was pinching at her skin and little sobs started to emerge from her throat. _Look at you, you're so fat! You're fat and ugly. No one wants you here._

Santana was letting out louder sobs by now and moved her hands to at the skin on her hips. _No one cares about you. Why do you think your mum is never here and your dad left you? They don't want you anymore. I know what you want to do, just cut yourself already!_

Santana nodded to herself as more tears fell and moved to open the draw. She opened a packet of new ones and ran her fingers over sharp edge and watched as it made tiny marks on her fingertips. She didn't bother to fill the bathtub before she got in

She didn't hesitate before she brought the blade to her left forearm, pressed down, hard, and dug into her skin. She was still crying but quieter by now, not wanted Brittany to come in if she heard her crying. She continued to make four more deep cuts on her left arm before moving to her right. As she brought the razor blade to her arm, the blood from her left started to drip onto her stomach. She let out a small smile then continued to cut into her right arm. She dropped the blade over the side of the bathtub and fell to the floor.

She stretched her arms out on the sides of the tub before laying her head back on a stack of towels behind her. After a few seconds of this, she began to realize that she didn't want to stop the bleeding. She realized that no one would even care if she died. Brittany had probably gone home or went to Quinn's to tell her every little secret that Santana had told her, and then them laughing about it.

_My mum would probably find me, if she ever comes back that is. She says that she's going on business trips but it's probably just to get away from me. She won't even have a letter to explain, she'll have to figure it out herself why I'm doing this and live with the guilt for the rest of her life. She deserves it, she never loved me. _

Eventually, Santana started to feel tired and dizzy, so she shut her eyes and tried to relax even more and wait for death to carry her away.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Back down stairs, right after Santana left.**_

Brittany let a few tears roll down her face before she quickly dug into her pocket for her phone. She immediately knew who to call.

"Pick up. Pick up. Pick up." Brittany chanted softly to herself.

"Hello?"

"Quinn I need to talk to you."

"Okay, shoot." Quinn said

"It's about Santana. When came back downstairs when she heard my voice so I had to tell her who I was talking to and what I was doing and when I told her I was talking to you she started to freak out that you would tell someone and then she started crying again, then she fell and I caught her again but then she got up, she was only a bit angry then, and she took her top off saying how fat she was and how disgusting and I tried to tell her that she was the most beautiful girl I know, and that she wasn't fat, but then she took her pants off she showed me her scars and she said that she was ugly and disgusting and then I tried to hug her and tell her that all she was saying was wrong but she pulled away and yelled at me to leave and ran up the stairs. She locked herself in her room." Brittany tried to say as quickly as possible.

"Britt, I really think you should go up there. You don't know what she might be doing; you need to stop her if she's doing something she shouldn't. Go Britt, call me later." With that Quinn hung up.  
Brittany tried to get to her feet as soon as possible and ran up the stairs. When she got to Santana's bedroom door, she knocked just in case she was in there and would let her in but after and got no response and knocking several more times she opened the door to find the room empty. She looked around the room and saw that the bathroom door was closed. She walked over to the closed door and tried to hear for any movement. When she didn't hear anything she got worried so she knocked on the door. "Santana? Are you in there? If you are please say something. Please." Brittany pleaded, hoping that after she said something she would hear her moving around, but she didn't. She didn't want to wait outside the door for her just in case something was wrong, so she carefully opened the door. As soon as she did she felt sick.

She saw Santana lying on the bathtub with her arms limply hanging on the edges. All the way from her wrists to her elbow was covered in blood and Brittany couldn't exactly which parts of her arms were actually bleeding.

"Oh, fuck" Brittany whispered. She quickly snapped out of her haze and looked around for some towels. She grabbed two off of the towel rack and loosely around each arm. She pulled Santana into a sitting position and quickly sat down behind her and guided her between her legs. Santana's body limped back against Brittany's and her head fell onto her shoulder. "Come on, Santana. Wake up. Wake up!" Brittany sobbed. By now she had tears flowing down her face and she didn't even try to stop them. Brittany shook her shoulders in an attempt to wake her up, but being careful not to knock off the towels on her arms. "Please, Santana! Please!"

She started to feel movement on her shoulder when she reached forward and put pressure against her arms. "Britt…?"

Brittany gasped and turned her head a little at the voice. She moved one of her hands to hold up Santana's head. She backed up in the tub a little so she could see her face. "That's good baby, you're doing good." Brittany said gently. She brushed the hair out of Santana's face and kissed the side of her head over and over. "So good, Tani, so good." Her body started to shake from the intensity of her sobs.

"What… why…" Santana started to squirm around, causing the towels to fall off her arms. Brittany attempted to wrap them back around but Santana just knocked them off again, still moving around.

"Honey, lean forward." Brittany said gently. She put a hands on Santana's back and helped her to sit up. Once she had enough room, so wriggled out from behind her and stepped out of the tub. She quickly wiped the remaining tears on the back of her hand and glanced down at her clothes. They were stained in Santana's blood. She made a mental note to change them as soon as she could.

With her hands still on her back and leaned down. "Let's get you out of here and on the toilet lid, okay?" She whispered. Santana weakly nodded and let Brittany do all the work.

_Why are you letting her help you? I thought this is what you wanted, I thought you wanted to die!_

"Stop… be quiet…" Santana whispered. She began to sway her head from side to side, thinking that would get the voice to go away.

Brittany gave her a confused look but didn't say anything. She just continued to help pull her out of the bathtub. She wrapped an arm around her hip and guided her to the toilet. Once Brittany was sure that she wasn't going to fall off she grabbed the two towels from the bathtub and crouched down in front of Santana to press them to her arms.

_You're still letting her help you? I can't believe how pathetic you are! No wonder no one loves you!_

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop!" Santana suddenly yelled and tried to push Brittany away. She managed to hit her shoulder, knocking her back slightly, before her arms hurt too much to continue. She hunched over crying and holding her arms to her chest. "I'm not pathetic! I'm not… I'm not pathetic"

"Honey…" Brittany whispered and went to touch Santana's knee. As soon as her hand made contact Santana flinched and whimpered. Brittany pulled her hand away and stood back up in front of her and brought her fingers up to her mouth. She didn't know what to do, Santana's wrists were still bleeding quite a lot which was getting soaked up by her shirt, while she was crying, gently rocking back and forth, and softly chanting '_I'm not pathetic' _over and over.

She got an idea and quickly got out her phone. She could call Quinn!

_Come on, pick up!_ "_Hello?_" a softly voice came through the phone.

"Quinn! I'm still at Santana's and she hurt herself, really bad, and at first she was letting me help her, you know? But then when I got her on the toilet seat she zoned out for a little bit and then she screamed at me and pushed me away from her and now she's crying and her arms are still bleeding and she won't let me touch her!" Brittany rushed out. She was breathing heavily and was slightly pacing around the room.

"_I'm coming over, okay?_"

"Please do." Brittany pleaded.

She hung up the phone and shoved in back in her back pocket. Brittany went back to crouching in front of Santana. "Baby, Quinn's going to come over, is that alright?" She didn't respond. "I'm going to take that as a yes because I don't know what to do and I'm scared. Will you let me touch you? I need to help you." Santana shook her head. She had stopped crying and Brittany didn't want her to start again. "Okay, that's okay." Brittany reassured. "Just pick up the towels and wrap them around her arms and they'll stopped hurting, I promise."

She handed her the towels and Santana took them with shaky hands. Once she had successfully wrapped them loosely around her arms and brought them back to her and brought her chin down.

"Good girl, you did well." Brittany reassured. "Quinn's coming over and she and I are going to make everything better again." Brittany stood up and grabbed a towel off the rack and spread it out in the bathtub to soak up the blood. She sat on the edge and watched Santana, not wanting to take her out of her sight. She heard a faint sound as the front door opening.

"Where are you?"

"Upstairs in Santana's bathroom, and hurry!" She got off the edge on the tub and knelt it front of Santana's again. "Quinn's here, baby. It's going to be okay."

Just as she finished talking she heard movement at the doorway. "Oh my god." Quinn whispered and covered her hand with her mouth. She felt tears swell in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She looked around the room to see blood droplets leading from the bathtub to the toilet and both Brittany's and Santana's clothes covered in it.

"Quinn! What took you so long!?"

Brittany's voice snapped her out of her haze and she moved forward next to Brittany. She was looking up at her with scared eyes while Santana was still rocking back and forth slightly and was whispering things to herself.

"What's…? I don't… Brittany?" was all that Quinn could get out.

"She hurt herself. Her arms. She won't let me touch her anymore, I was trying to fix her but she yelled at me to stop and pushed me and then she started crying and saying that she wasn't pathetic, which I never_ ever_ said she was! But she's been doing this ever since and I don't know what to do." Brittany said. "Please help her, Quinn."

Quinn slid to her knees in front of Santana and gently reached up to grasp her hands. Santana whimpered loudly and started to shake but she let Quinn touch her and move both of her arms away from her chest.

She turned her head back to Brittany and she rushed forward and knelt down in front of her as well. Quinn wasn't holding on to her wrist anymore, just simply touching her palm. Brittany reached forward to touch her hand as well but when she didn't again Santana flinched. "No!" She screamed and hit the blonde's hand away. Startled, Brittany backed up against the bathtub and she started to cry.

Quinn let her tears fall as well but she knew that Santana needed her, needed someone. "It's okay, Britt. I'll help her, okay?" Brittany nodded and brought her knees in to her chest and rested her head against her knees and cried some more. _Tani won't let me touch her, she doesn't trust me anymore. Does she not love me anymore? Does she not need me anymore? She can't not need me. I need her._ Millions of other questions flooded Brittany's mind while Quinn brought Santana's hands back down in front of her. Most the bleeding had stopped now and had soaked into her shirt but there was still some and lots of dried up blood that was all over her arms.

"It is okay, Santana. I'm going to help you" Quinn told her as she got to her feet and grabbed some toilet paper and a cup of water. "This is probably going to sting, but it's going to make things better, okay?" Before she dipped the toilet paper in the water she took a quick glance at Brittany, who still had her head rested on her knees, but she wasn't crying anymore. She turned her attention back to Santana's arms and finally dipped the toilet paper in the water. She straightened out her left arm and started to clean up the dried blood.

"No, no... Stop it hurts!" Santana whined and tried to pull her arm away from Quinn's grasp but a voice stopped her.

_No. Let her. You trust her. You don't trust the blonde over there. Don't let her touch you. She's not trying to help you. She wants to hurt you!_

Quinn lifted her head after she had stopped fighting against her and saw that Santana seemed distracted and she was nodding her head slightly, like someone was talking to her. Quinn was confused, but didn't question it. _Probably something to do with the blood loss._ Quinn tried to focus back to the task at hand but she felt someone come up next to her. She turned her head and saw Brittany. Her nose and eyes were puffy and red and her hair was all shaggy. "Britt..." Quinn warns.

"I'm not going to touch her, I promise" Brittany paused. "I just need to be near her."

Quinn nodded and finished off the arm she was on at quickly as possible so she could get to the next one. Once she had finished both, the whole time Santana weirdly unresponsive, she looked in the sink cupboards for some bandages. "Where are the bandages? Her dad's a doctor for god's sake!"

"He, um, doesn't like to keep anything like that in the house, I-I don't know why." Brittany stuttered. Santana was still zoned out and didn't even acknowledge Brittany's presence. Brittany was becoming more and more anxious by the second, and was about to touch Santana again but Quinn come back with a bunch of tea towels, safety pins, and got some more toilet paper.

"This is all I could think of. We can go get some real bandages when she gets a bit better but I don't think she'll let us take her to the hospital to stick anything." Quinn crouched again and firstly wrapped the toilet paper around her arm from her wrist to her elbow and then a tea towel and pinned in closed. She repeated her actions on the next arm then got up and motioned Brittany to do the same.

"Why don't I get her into her room and you get her out her favourite pyjamas and then some for you and me too?" She asked. Brittany nodded her left the room. As she walked into her room she glanced at the clock. 7:38 pm. She pulled out Santana's favourite pair of pyjamas, a blue tank top and purple pyjama pants. She would wear them when they had sleepovers and would let Brittany wear the pants if she got cold. She pulled out some of Santana's old ones for her and Quinn and placed them on the bed. She was about to sit down on the bed when Quinn came into the room basically carrying Santana in with her. Quinn sat her down on the bed and started to undress her. Brittany turned away, thinking Santana didn't want her to see her body anymore. She grabbed a tank top and booty shorts off the bed and changed as quickly as she could. She took the blood-stained clothes and threw them in the hamper in the corner of the room.

When she turned back around, Santana was fully dressed in her pyjamas and Quinn was getting changed. She grabbed Santana's clothes off the bed and threw them in the hamper as well. She walked to the end of the bed and watched as Quinn got Santana to lie down and got her under the blankets.

Quinn walked over to Brittany and took her hand. "Come on, she's fine" She started walking towards the door but Brittany stopped her.

"Wait, but what if she freaks out again? We won't be here, I can't leave!"

"Britt, she's fine. Look" Quinn pointed at Santana with her free hand. She had her eyes closed and her arms up to her chest and was curled up in a blanket facing them. "We're only going to be gone for a little while. It'll be okay." Quinn whispered and led her out of the room and gently closed the door behind them.

"It's going to be okay. We'll stay with her tonight and take of the things she used to hurt herself out of the house and then we see how she is tomorrow."

Brittany nodded and wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck, she was going to cry and she didn't want Quinn to see. Quinn pulled her closer and put her chin on her shoulder. Brittany began to shake

"I-I'm scared Quinn, she-she won't let me touch her! What if she ha-hates me? She hates me I-I can tell!" Brittany sobbed.

"Shh, honey no, she doesn't hate you. It's okay, I promise" Quinn rubbed circles on her back hoping it would calm her down.

Eventually, Brittany stopped crying so Quinn pulled back and gave her a small smile. "Come on" She took her hand and opened the door again. They saw Santana in the same position as before, but this time they were sure that she was asleep.

Letting go of Brittany's hand, Quinn walked around to the opposite side of the bed and climbed in next to Santana. She noticed that Brittany didn't follow her so she looked around. She found Brittany still standing at the door, staring at Santana. "Britt? Aren't you going to come to bed?" She whispered. This seemed to knock Brittany out of her haze.

"Um, no. I think I'm going to clean up in the bathroom" Brittany said before walking off into the bathroom.

Quinn dropped her head onto the pillow while Brittany cleaned up. She rolled over to her side so she was facing Santana and wriggled over to her. She draped her arm over her mid-section and pulled her closer and placed her head next to Santana's. When Brittany didn't come back after a while she decided to drift off to sleep.

Back in the bathroom Brittany had finally gotten the red blood stains out of the bathtub and from in between the tiles before she decided to clean up the rest tomorrow. She walked back into the bedroom and found both Santana and Quinn fast asleep. Brittany wanted to touch Santana, to hold her and tell her everything was okay, to fall asleep with Santana in her arms, but she didn't want Santana to get upset again. She sighed and walked out the bedroom door and downstairs. She knew that Santana's mum wasn't going to be home tonight so she locked all the doors and closed all the curtains. She still didn't know where Santana's mum was, she would always disappear for a week or so at a time but Santana always told her she was on business trips but Brittany didn't believe her, she was gone too often and Santana didn't sound all that convincing.

Once the whole house was secure, she walked back up the stairs and into Santana's bedroom. She turned off the bathroom light then the one on her side table and then crawled into bed next to Quinn. She was so exhausted from today's events that when her head hit the pillow she was instantly asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

"Brittany we have to wake her up, it's starting to get late and I have to go home soon and we have to get some food into her"

Santana was awoken by a voice from outside her door. She groaned and pushed her face further into her pillow. Her arms were aching and she didn't have the energy to get up to tell them to shut up.

"It's not late, it's only 3:30! Quinn, we can't wake her up she needs sleep. If we wake her up she's going to be angry and I don't want her to be angry" Santana was going to roll over to face away from the door when it opened. She whimpered as light immediately shined into her eyes and tried to bring the blanket up to cover her face.

"Nah ah, you're getting up. Come on" Quinn said as she walked forward towards the bed and whipped the covers away from Santana's face. Santana groaned and tried to turn over but Quinn was already pulling her up by her shoulders.

"Quinn, I don't think she likes it. She wants to sleep" Brittany said. She was standing in the door frame, too scared to go any further. She was afraid that Santana would be angry with her or yell at her again if she tried to talk to her or touch her.

"I don't care if she doesn't like it Britt, she needs to get up because she needs to eat before she passes out" Quinn had successfully pulled Santana into a sitting position on the bed, but it looked like Santana wasn't going to try to stand up anytime soon.

"Well, can't she like, have it here or something?" Brittany suggests. "She's not going to make it downstairs on her own. It's easier if we bring it up to her" Brittany takes a few more steps into the room, closer to Quinn.

"Okay, we can do that. I got the bandages from my house. I also put antiseptic cream in there so nothing gets infected. They're on the end of Santana's bed. We need to change them, so can you start?" Quinn asks as she's walking out of the room.

"Okay, y-yeah, of course" Brittany stutters back and Quinn makes her way downstairs. Brittany turns back to where Santana is sitting on the bed. She looks pale and she's holding her arms in her lap.

Brittany picked up two bandages from the pile and the tube of antiseptic cream

"Santana, is it OK if I…?" Brittany asks, indicating to her arms.

Santana raises her head to look at Brittany and nods her head weakly. She's tired and light-headed and all she wants to do is sleep. She hopes it doesn't take long.

Brittany bites her lip and un-pinned the tea towel from Santana's left arm. Once she fully covered her arms and quietly gasped at the sight. Her cuts were still open but the bleeding had stopped. There was dried blood covering almost the inside of Santana's forearm. Brittany cleared her throat a little before standing up again and walking back into the bathroom. She got a cup full of water and a roll of toilet paper and walked back out, finding Quinn walking through the door and Santana touching the cuts on her arm.

Quinn put the food down on the dresser and moved to kneel in front of Santana and gently moved her hand away from her arm. "You don't want to make them bleed again…" Quinn says softly.

Brittany moves next to Quinn and put down the cup and toilet paper roll on the ground next to them. "We need to clean up her arm again". She hands Quinn the cup and begins to clean Santana's arm. She's trying to be as gentle as she can, not wanting to hurt Santana. Santana hasn't complained at all. She hasn't even talked. Her face is so pale and it looks like she barely has enough strength to hold herself up, and it's making Brittany extremely worried.

Once Quinn and Brittany finished cleaning and bandaged Santana's arms, this time with real bandages. Suddenly Quinn gets a phone call, she seemed to look surprised at who is calling her and motions to Brittany that she's going to take the phone call out of the room.

Brittany gets up from the floor and sits next to Santana, turning to face her. She's staring at the floor with no emotion on her face. Brittany hates to see her best friend hurting so much and she wish she had known that Santana was in pain earlier so she could help her. She just wanted Santana to be happy, but now she won't even talk to her.

Santana turn slight and muttered something that Brittany didn't quite hear right as Quinn come back into the room. "I'm sorry guys but I have to go".

"Why?"

"Um, I just have to go. You'll be fin Britt. I'll see you at school" Quinn says before skipping down the stairs and closed the front door behind her.

"I said I was sorry…" comes a quiet voice next to Brittany.

"Oh… it's okay Tani"

"No it's not. I didn't mean for you to see me like this… I know you don't want to be here" Santana says softly.

Brittany got confused by Santana's words. Why wouldn't she want to spend time with her? And especially why didn't Santana think that she would want to help her?

"Of course I would want to be here, I love you and I don't want you to be sad" Brittany told her. She wanted to move closer and hug Santana, but Santana might react badly if she did.

Santana just shrugged and looked away from Brittany. She began to lay down on the bed but Brittany stopped her.

"Um, Santana? You have to eat… before you go back to sleep" Brittany told her. Santana sighed but sat up straight again, waiting for Brittany to give her the food.

Brittany hopped off the bed and grabbed the food off of the dresser and gave it to Santana. She just watched Santana eat, waiting for her to finish, before she helped her lay back down on the bed so she could go back to sleep for a while.

Brittany pulled the covers over her body and sat next to Santana on the bed. She watched as Santana rolled onto her side and muttered something she couldn't hear.

"What did you say, Tani?"

Santana turned her body a little towards Brittany. "Um, can… can you hold me?" She asked quietly.

Brittany was a bit surprised at the request, thinking Santana wanted her to just leave, but she muttered a quick 'of course' before lying down next to her and putting an arm around her mid-section to pull her closer. She heard Santana's breathing start to even out and she started to play with her hair a little. It felt so brittle and thin lately, nothing like it used to. Brittany missed the way Santana's hair used to be. It used to be luscious and full, she loved it so much.

A lot of little things have changed about Santana over the last few months that Brittany is only noticing now. She's only noticed it now because now they all seem to link together. As in how Santana's hair is now brittle and thin, or how Santana's hands have become just a little bonier, or that Santana's hip bones and collarbone is now just that little bit more prominent.

Santana seemed to be fully asleep now and Brittany pulled her closer, wanting to be closer to her. Brittany just wishes that Santana will be happier soon. She can't handle her being this sad. She wishes that she had known all of this earlier, so she could have prevented Santana at least attempting to kill herself. Brittany didn't want to show how much this made her upset until Santana was a little happier. It might make Santana feel too guilty about everything and might make her more upset and cause her to do something bad.

Brittany, having exhausted herself with her thoughts, started to drift off to sleep, but not without pressing several kisses to Santana's cheek and jaw before settling in behind Santana again and falling asleep.

Unfortunately, she didn't get much out of her nap, because twenty minutes later they were both awoken by an excessive loud banging on Santana's front door.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm going to add a new character to this story. She will just be mentioned in this chapter.**

* * *

Santana shot up in the bed and looked around frantically, because she was un-expectantly awoken by the knocking on the front door. She was confused at who it would be because she could feel Brittany behind her, and she knew Quinn wouldn't be back anytime today.

Slightly terrified, she turned to shake Brittany awake. Brittany began to wake with a groan. When the loud knocking echoed through the house again Brittany tiredly sat up behind Santana and put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay, I'll go" Brittany said. Santana nodded, but couldn't help follow Brittany when she hopped off the bed to see who was at the door, but not without quickly grabbing a jumper and putting it on. Santana padded down the stairs with Brittany in front of her and stopped at the bottom, crossing her arms over her chest and waiting for Brittany to open the door.

Brittany walked to the door right as another loud banging echoed through the house and turned the knob, opening the door, revealing Santana's mother who looked extremely angry. Brittany gasped but didn't' get a chance to say anything before she woman stormed into the house, yelling.

"I can't believe him! The whole damn time!" Santana's mother screams in rage as she walks into the house and into the living room. Brittany slowly closed the door and walked over to Santana and put a hand on her upper arm, who flinched slightly at the contact but followed Brittany's guide to the living where her mother was.

"Can you believe it Santana? The cheating bastard!" her mother turned to face Santana continued to yell. Santana stepped closer to Brittany and tightened her arms against her own chest.

"Um, can we not talk this here? Not with Brittany here…" Santana basically whispered to her mother.

Her mother huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Fine!" She threw her hands up in the hair. "I'll just go out for a bit" she said before she walked past Santana and Brittany and walked out of the house.

When Santana heard the door shut and tried to ignore the tears slowly whelming up in her eyes. She just didn't understand, everything was happening so fast and she didn't like it. Since when was her mother back? She said she'll be back in a couple of days, not now! She didn't know how to deal with her and especially not when she comes barging into the house yelling.

A hand on Santana's shoulder makes her come out of her thoughts and snap her head to the side. Brittany was looking at her with extreme confusion on her face, obviously confused about her mothers' outburst coming into the house.

"Tana, what's going on? What was she talking about?"

Santana bit her lip. She knew what her mother was yelling about, and now she has to explain it to Brittany. She was hoping to have it never come up so she never had to talk about it. Think about it, but I guess it doesn't work that way.

"Um, Britt, you know when I was going to take a shower? And um, I was reading that letter?" Santana asks, as she walks to the couch and sits down, folding her arms in her lap and fiddling with her fingers. She looked up and watched Brittany come sit down next to her and muttered a quiet "yeah". "Well, the letter, it was from my dad… it was an invitation to his wedding. He is getting married to someone called _Elaine. _I-I think it's someone from his work or something," Santana took a deep breath, forcing herself not to cry. One; because she didn't know when her mother was going to be back and two; because she didn't want to cry anymore, she's been crying for almost a whole day straight and she didn't think she could take it anymore.

Brittany moved closer when Santana stopped talking. Even though now she knew almost everything about Santana, she still had no idea what happened with her and her father. Santana refused to talk about it and when anyone brought him up she tried her hardest to change the conversation. Every time.

"Santana, are you okay?" Brittany asks, a little concerned now. Santana quickly nods her head and pulls her arms tighter around herself.

"T-that was basically what the letter was about, but it, um, it wasn't in a very nice way? I could tell he doesn't want me there…" she mutters. Brittany reaches out and puts her arm around her to pull her closer till Santana's head is on her shoulder. Although Santana didn't explain it extremely well, she still understood completely. She didn't want Santana to go because it's just going to hurt her more, but Santana might want to. Brittany hopes that she doesn't want to.

Santana is starting to feel herself drifting off again and she doesn't know why she's so tired. She's slept for so long over the last two days but she can't help it but feel extremely tired, especially when Brittany feels and smells this good. Santana moves her hands from her lap and wraps them around Brittany's side in an attempt to hug her, which was successful enough.

"Britt, I'm tired" Santana says gently, and Brittany leans back against the couch, brining Santana with her.

"Hmm, I know. Do you wanna sleep?"

"No… let's go to your place. I wanna sleep there…" She mumbles.

Brittany was a bit confused, but she agreed. She knew Santana didn't want to see her mother so she's guessing that that's why she doesn't want to stay here.

Brittany helped an almost unconscious Santana to sit up and she quickly went upstairs to grab her things before running back down the stairs to Santana on the couch. "Okay, ready?" Santana nodded her head and stood up weakly and shuffled over to Brittany. Brittany almost pouted at how Santana looked right now and guided her to the door. Santana was having a lot of mood swings lately but Brittany wasn't going to complain how this one, considering that Santana was trusting Brittany again and she looked too damn cute when she was sleepy.

"Do you have a key?" Brittany asks before she closes the door to Santana's house. Santana looked down to see if she had them in her pockets before she realized something.

"Britt, I'm in my pajamas" She complained.

Brittany chuckled and looked down as well. "So am I" She raised her eyebrow slightly and looked back to Santana.

Santana pouted but started moving down the front lawns path. "It's okay, there's a key under the mat, and she'll be able to get back in. Now come on Brittany I want to get to your house and sleep please" Santana didn't stop for Brittany to catch up, but instead sped up to get out of the gate of her house and make her way to Brittany's house a few blocks away.

Brittany caught up to her in no time and 5 minutes later they were only a few houses away from Brittany's house. "It's getting dark now" Brittany comments.

"And I'm cold" Santana said back.

Brittany giggled. "But you've got the jumper on here" she said. Santana turned to look at her and playfully slapped her arm.

Once they finally made it to Brittany's house they knocked on her front door, waiting for Brittany's mother to answer. A few moment later an older woman, looking almost exactly like Brittany, opening the door with a smile. "Santana, it's so nice to see you! I haven't seen you in a while".

Santana bowed her and nodded, "Sorry about that," she said. Brittany' mother quickly moved to the side and ushered the girls in, getting them out of the cold and dark, and lead them to the living room where Brittany's sister was watching TV.

"Britt, why are you back?" She asks, turning her head away from the television.

"Nice to see you too" Brittany said back.

Santana didn't want to interrupt Brittany's slightly dysfunctional family but she was really tired and she just wanted to sleep. She tugged on Brittany's shirt to get her attention away from her mother and sister, hoping she would understand she just wanted to go to bed. Brittany makes an "oh" sound and excused herself and Santana from the room, saying that they were overtired from staying up for too long and lead Santana to her bedroom.

"Do we need to change your bandages…?" Brittany asks, not wanting to ruin the mood but wanted to make sure Santana was okay. Santana shook her head a little and took off her jumper before lying down on Brittany's bed and pulled the covers over her body. Brittany tossed her bag of things onto the floor when Santana's hit the spot next to her, motioning her to come lie next to her, and walked over to the bed, pulled back the sheets and climbed in next to Santana.

She felt Santana move back into her body and put her arm around her midsection to keep her close. They were both extremely tired and were drifting off quite quickly, and soon enough they were almost both fully asleep, but not before Santana turning over and quickly pressing a kiss to Brittany's lips and then turning back over and drifting off to sleep, leaving Brittany confused before she drifted off to sleep as well.

* * *

**I'm trying to update this before I go to sleep so hopefully this is good. I'm surprised I got this up so soon compared to the other updates. Please review x**


	7. Chapter 7

Early the next morning, Santana was roused into consciousness by soft fingers gently threading through her hair. She moaned softly at the feelings and rolled onto her back, facing Brittany with a small smile. Brittany was laying on her side with her head propped up with her right hand, and using her left to softly play with Santana's hair.

"Hey" Brittany whispered, smiling back.

Santana giggled softly before looking around the room. "Britt, what time is it?"

"Um, around 5:30am" Brittany said, looking back to her bedside table clock.

Santana groaned and threw her arms over her eyes. "It's too early" She complained. Brittany chuckled and leaned over to pull Santana's arms away from her face, caused her to pout adorably and making Brittany's heart melt.

"Tani, you're so cute when you pout" Brittany giggles, making Santana blush and rolled onto her side, attempting to hide her face.

"Why are we up so early? It's still dark outside" come Santana's muffled voice from slightly under Brittany.

"Well, we did go to sleep at like 7pm so…" Brittany explained, dropping her head on the pillow and lying on her back, causing Santana to roll onto her back as well. Their hands were lying close to each other so Brittany reached over and began to play gently with Santana's fingers.

20 minutes later, they were still lying next to each other on the bed with Brittany playing with Santana's fingers, until Brittany broke the silence.

"Are we going to talk about you kissing me last night?" she turned her head towards Santana, who was still staring at the ceiling.

"Um… I don't know what you're talking about…?" Santana attempted to lie, but it was obviously not very successful. She didn't exactly feel like talking about it because she didn't have an explanation about why she had done it. She has felt like doing it for a while now, but she didn't know why she chose that moment to kiss her.

Brittany turned to face her with an amused expression on her face. "Oh, really?"

"Um… yeah totally," Santana said. "No idea"

Brittany frowned slightly. "Tani, come on" but Santana still wasn't facing her. "Would it make you admit you did it if I said I liked it?" She questioned.

Santana's eye widened a little and she finally turned her head towards Brittany. "You did?" She basically squeaked. Brittany nodded, smiling. "Good, because liked it too" Santana smiled back at her.

"So, why did you kiss me?"

Santana frowned, she wasn't exactly anticipating Brittany to ask this question and she was also stumped because she didn't know how to answer it. Should she say she kissed her because she was grateful that she was taking care of her, or should she say she kissed her because she feels like she's been falling in love with Brittany ever since they first met and this kiss was _extremely_ overdue?

"I-I don't really know, I guess that I've just been wanting to for a while… and I guess I chose now to do it?" Santana says a little uncertainly. She couldn't say that she was in love with her and that's why she kissed her because she was still really uncertain that she was in love with her.

"I've been wanting to for a while now, too" Brittany told her, making her blush. Suddenly, Brittany sat up and swung her legs off of the bed. "We should get some breakfast"

Santana sat up with a slightly confused expression. "Britt it's like 6 in the morning, aren't we just going to wake everyone up?"

"We're just going to have to be quiet then, aren't we?" Brittany said, heading towards the door. Santana quickly got up and followed her downstairs.

* * *

Eventually after Brittany and Santana went downstairs and made pancakes, accidentally waking up Brittany's mother in the process, Santana decided it was time that she should go home. Brittany wasn't happy with her leaving but she knew she didn't have a choice. Her mother would most likely not be happy with her leaving the house and not telling her where she had gone, and especially because she had left her locked out of the house and left to find the key Santana hide for herself. She hugged Santana goodbye, maybe for a little too long, and told her to call her when she could before Santana finally left.

Brittany sighed and flopped herself down on the couch, picking up the plate of her half eaten pancakes from the coffee table and turned on the TV. She turned down the volume so her mother wouldn't be awoken, and especially so her sister wouldn't be awoken and yell at her for waking her up. Luckily, it was a public holiday so she didn't have to worry about going to school today.

* * *

An hour later Brittany had finished her pancakes and was at the end of a Law & Order: SVU episode when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs behind her, and she turned her head to see her mother. "Hi, mum!" She smiled.

Her mother's eyebrows furrowed a little and she tightened her robe tighter against her. "Well aren't you chipper this morning" she said as she walked to the kitchen and began to make herself coffee.

Brittany turned her attention back to the TV, "I can't help it, and I woke up in a good mood".

"Oh? And why is that?" Her mother questioned as she walked over to Brittany and set a cup in front of her, who said a quick 'thank you', before setting her own down and sitting on the couch. "Does this have anything to do with Santana sleeping over?"

Brittany smiled around her cup that she had picked up. "Maybe" she said before taking a sip.

"Oh, I knew you guys were dating. Please don't tell me you guys had sex, I'm _not_ ready to have this talk with you" Her mother said.

Brittany put her mug on the coffee table quickly before staring in shock at her mother. "What? No! We-we didn't have sex, mum! And we aren't dating" Brittany leaned back against the couch, "As much I wish we were" she mumbled under her breath.

"You like her?"

"Yes" Brittany smiles. "Even though we didn't have sex last night, it doesn't mean we didn't do anything. She kissed me" Brittany, still smiling, looked down at her lap and started to fiddle with her fingers.

"My darling daughter is in love!" her mother said. Brittany blushes but didn't have a chance to reply because her mother stood up. "Unfortunately for me, I still have to go to work today. Take care of your sister, and if you're going to see Santana today, bring her over here" she begins to walk to the kitchen and eventually up the stairs to get ready.

Brittany sighed and sat back against the couch to watch the last 5 minutes of her show. She didn't know if she was going to see Santana today, one because she didn't know if she was allowed out now that her mother was home, and two she knew that Santana was confused about her feelings and she didn't want to push her. She kind of wished that Santana would figure it out soon because while they were lying in bed this morning Brittany was almost dying to kiss her again.

* * *

Around 3pm, Brittany was in the middle of making lunch for Alison, her sister, when she got a phone call. She knew it wasn't Santana because she had called an hour earlier saying that she was home and everything was fine.

"Ali! Come get your food" Brittany said as she quickly finished putting everything together, trying to catch the phone in time. She passed her sister who was making her way to the kitchen to grab her phone from the coffee table in the living room. "Hello?"

"Hi, Britt, I-it's Quinn. Can I come over?" Quinn said, sounding a little nervous.

"Yeah, of course. Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I think. I'll be over in 10 minutes" she says before she hangs up.

"Who was on the phone?" Alison asks as she walks back into the living room with a bowl of pasta in her hands.

"Oh, it was just Quinn. She's coming over" Brittany said.

Ten minutes later Quinn had showed up at Brittany's door, and they had both gone up to her room and sat down crosses legged on her bed. So far Quinn hadn't said anything about why she was here.

"Quinn, what's wrong?" Brittany asks, hoping Quinn will start to talk about what's bothering her.

"How's Santana doing?" Quinn asks.

Brittany's brows furrowed, "She's good" Quinn just nods and looks down at her lap. "Quinn, what's wrong?"

Quinn looked up at Brittany and took a deep breath. "Okay, you know how yesterday I left you with Santana?" Brittany nods. "Well, um, I've been going out with… Rachel, like out on the weekends, and um, when I went yesterday, she uh, she kissed me" Quinn looked back down at her lap.

"Aw, that's great Quinn! I really like Rachel, she's really nice" Brittany said with a smile.

"What are you talking about? No, no, it's not good. It can't be good. I'm not even gay!" Quinn looked back up to Brittany with an alarmed expression.

Brittany furrows her brows at her. "Do you like her as more than a friend?" Brittany asks, but she already knew the answer. It was obvious from her tiny outburst.

"Yeah… I think I do" Quinn answered and Brittany smiled.

"Then there's nothing wrong with it! Is this about your mum? Because I'm certain that she won't mind at all"

"N-no it's not that, I just never thought that I would like a girl" Quinn said. _Well neither did I_.

They stayed sitting on her bed for a while more, talking and planning about how Quinn will ask Rachel. Brittany tried to suggest that Quinn should cut and dye her hair back to the pink like when she was going through her punk phase and it look as if she was contemplating it for a second before she said no. Brittany thought she looked extremely hot when she had her hair dyed and was a little disappointed when she turned it down. Quinn then suggested that she should invite Rachel over and cook her dinner and ask her afterwards when they watch one of Rachel's favourite movies. Brittany agreed to that idea because it sounded so cute and romantic.

* * *

"Brittany! Someone's at the door!" Alison screams from downstairs almost an hour later. Hoping it was Santana, Brittany quickly jumped off the bed and practically ran down the stairs to get to the door, leaving Quinn behind in her room to follow. Quinn caught up to Brittany right as she was opening the front door, revealing a teary-eyed Santana.

"Britt… can I sleep here tonight?"

* * *

**I hope this chapter answered some of your questions but feel free to ask things you're confused about. I'm probably forgetting some things that I should have explained, so just tell me if I did. Also, to user Jamieson who left the review saying that they thing I should explain why Santana self harms, I'm going to put it in the next chapter but it is mostly because of her mother, just so you know.**

**Please review, I would like to know what you think**


	8. Chapter 8

**_That morning,_**

After leaving Brittany's, Santana started to make her way home. It was cold and she was still in her pajamas so she was trying to get home as soon as possible before she froze to death. She hoped that her mother wasn't too angry that she slept over at Brittany's last night, but she probably might be because she was most likely still angry about Santana's dad getting re-married.

She finally made it to her house and checked under the place mat for the key, but unfortunately it wasn't there. At least it means that her mother had gotten inside, but now she has to knock on the door and wake her up to get inside. She hesitantly knocked on the front door and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting.

Around a minute later she heard angry footsteps coming down the stairs from inside the house. Her mother obviously wasn't very happy. She heard those footsteps coming closer to the front door until it was almost violently ripped open.

"Where the hell have you been!?" her mother screeched. Santana cringed and tightened her arms against her chest before briskly walking past her mother into the house. Her mother was defiantly angry and she wasn't in the mood to deal with it. Her mother slammed the door and spun around, catching Santana by her upper arm. "Don't just walk away from me Santana. You left me in my time of need!"

Santana whipped around wearing an angry expression. "In your time of need? What the fuck are you talking about?!" she screamed.

"Santana, don't you even start. Your father getting married is all _your_ fault! Do you know how much problems you caused?" Santana gasped and looked at her mother unbelievably. "You're the reason he left, Santana! Are you that blind?" her mother screamed at her. Santana couldn't believe what her mother had just said. All her assumptions about this were right. She _was_ the reason her dad left.

She felt tears pricking at her eyes so she looked away from her mother and ran upstairs to her bedroom without another word. The whole time. She _knew_ it.

She sat down on her bed as soon as sobs started to rack her body. She bowed her head and held it in her hands while tears began to slide down her cheeks. She could hear some banging noises downstairs and then the slam of a door. Her mother must have left. Probably so she didn't have to deal with Santana and all of her stupid feelings.

After a few minutes, Santana lifted her head from her hands and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. She stood up on sightly shaky legs and made her way to her bathroom. She kneeled in front of the sink before opening a draw and pulling a blade out. Brittany and Quinn obviously forgot to throw them away. She had picked the sharpest one. She marked it with a black dot because it was the one that went the deepest and made her bleed the most. She made sure that she still had the bandages that Brittany and Quinn had left in here before she started.

She stood up and took a deep breath before setting down a towel on the floor and the things she needed to clean herself up. She sat down on the towel and leaned her back against the side of the bathtub. She pulled the pajama pants that she was wearing off and set the blade down on the towel next to her. She pulled her sleeves up and pulled off the bandages that covered them. She didn't need to have them on anymore because her cuts weren't bleeding and they were just becoming annoying.

She finally picked up her blade and brought it to the top of her left thigh. She hasn't cut here in a long time. She's been cutting on her stomach because of the hot weather, but now because winter was around the corner she was able to cut on her thighs and legs and having no one know.

She felt tears fill her eyes again when she pressed down on her skin with the blade. The blood was immediate. She angrily tore the blade into her skin a few dozen more times before laying her arms at her side and watching the blood flow out of her thigh with tear filled eyes.

After a few minutes, she began to feel a little dizzy so she decided she should stop the bleeding before she passed out. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand again before cleaning her leg off. She didn't know how the bandages were going to be big enough to fit the area of the cuts but she tried the best she could.

She cleaned and bandaged her leg before she started to cry. Tears are sliding down her cheeks but she didn't acknowledge it. She just continued to clean up her mess so she could get out of this house as soon as she could.

She stood up on sore legs and wondered her way out of the bathroom. Her leg was hurting so _fucking_ much but she tried to ignore it. She felt so tired and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. She didn't even bother to put pants back on before she pulled back the covers on her bed and climbed in. She curled up in a ball the best she could before closing her eyes and drifting into a restless and nightmare filled sleep.

* * *

8 hours later, Santana was jolted awake by the slamming of the front door. The whole time she was asleep, she kept having nightmares that Brittany left her. She would wake up in-between dreams and cry herself back to sleep.

She heard more noises from downstairs and it sounded as though they were coming up the stairs. As quickly as she could, she climbed out of bed and into the bathroom and retrieve her pajama pants. After she put them back on she basically limped back into her room and sat in the middle of her bed. She was scared that her mother was going to come in and yell at her even more. Maybe do something even worse.

She heard stumbling steps go straight past her room, heading towards her mother's room. She got off of the bed and went towards the door. When she opened it she saw her mother stumbling around the hallway in an attempt to get to her bedroom. She must have left and gotten insanely drunk. Was Santana really that hard to bare that she had to go and get drunk just to come and deal with?

Santana slowly stepped out of her room when her mother tripped over her own feet and almost landed on her floor. She thought of helping her up but she thought against it when her mother lets out a frustrated sighing and pushed herself off of the wall.

She was about to go back to her room and back to sleep but when she moved her feet the floorboards let out a squeak, making her mother turn around.

"Oh! There you are!" she basically shouted. Her voice wasn't slurred as much as Santana thought it would be. "I've been looking for you" she began making her way towards Santana.

"Mum, please, you're drunk. Just go to your room a-and sleep or something" Santana said hesitantly.

"Don't tell me what to do Santana, you've caused enough problems" her mother says as she gets closer.

"I wasn't causing problems I was just-"

"I said don't tell me what to do! I'm so sick of you, all you do is complain!" her mother screams at Santana, who is starting to get scared. She's never yelled at her before like this and she's never gotten so angry at her before. She was about to walk back into her room and leave her mother so she could cool off but instead she sees her mother quickly raise a hand and slaps her hard across the face. Santana whimpers in surprise and holds her cheeks delicately and tears start to swell in her eyes.

"Let this teach you a lesson, Santana" her mother says before stumbling to her room and slamming the door shut.

Santana begins to cry and tries to make her way downstairs as quickly as she can. Her cheek was stinging and her thigh was aching and she was extremely tired. She made it to the end of the stairs, opened the front door and wondered outside. She could go to Quinn's. She was really close, just across the street.

Once Santana reaches Quinn's house she knocks on the door. It's answered by Judy, who tells her that Quinn's at Brittany's, but also asks her if she's okay. She probably has a hand mark on her face by now, blood shot eyes, and tear stained cheeks but Santana lies and says that she's fine, she just wanted to see Quinn. Judy is hesitant to let her go but sends her off to Brittany's.

When Santana approaches Brittany's front door she tries not to let anymore tears fall. She knocks on the door and a few moment later she hears Alison yell that someone's at the door. She chuckled lightly but it wasn't long lived because seconds later the door swings open revealing a grinning Brittany.

"Britt… can I sleep here tonight?"

* * *

"Santana, what happened to your cheek?" Brittany asks.

After Brittany guided Santana inside she burst into tears again so Quinn and Brittany had to help her up the stairs into the bedroom. They sat her down on the bed and she clung to Brittany and cried into her shoulder. Quinn noticed blood stains on the fabric of Santana's pajama pants and she silently walked out of the room and brought back things to fix up her bandages, as well as some track pants.

Santana was now sitting up with Brittany beside her, trying to control her tears as Quinn worked on her leg.

"I'm sorry…" Santana whispered.

Brittany moved to touch Santana's cheek, making Santana turn towards her. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong, baby" Brittany said with such gentleness. It made Santana's lip twitch slightly but she then looked away from her.

"It's my fault she hit me, I didn't mean to make her angry…" Santana trailed off when Brittany let out a gasp and Quinn looked up from her thigh, concerned.

"Hit you? Who hit you Santana?" Quinn asks.

Santana shook her head, looking down, and tried to move away from them but Quinn held her in place. "It-It's was my mum" she admits in another whisper.

Brittany almost felt as if her heart had been crushed and she leaned over and pulled Santana into her arms. She was glad that Santana didn't reject her hug and she felt Santana's arms wrap around her waist. "I won't let her hurt you again, I promise" Brittany mumbles and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'm all done here" Quinn whispered, practically to no one because Brittany and Santana were too wrapped up in each other to notice. Quinn stood up and watched on as Santana turned her body so she could hug Brittany tighter and more comfortably while Brittany brushed the hair out of Santana's face, causing Santana to lift her head slightly. Brittany pressed a few kisses to Santana's forehead and temple and brought her hand to Santana's cheek, caressing it softly and being careful not to hurt her. Quinn let out a warm smile watching the two and could tell that something had defiantly changed between them.

Quinn picked up the track pants that were on the floor and lied them down next to her on the bed and poked her on the knee to get her attention, before picking everything off the ground that she used to clean off Santana's leg and placing them in the bathroom.

When she got back Santana was in the middle of putting on the pants while Brittany blatantly stared at her ass. She started to laugh, causing Brittany's head to snap up from Santana's ass to Quinn's face and then blushing.

When Santana finished changing Quinn moved forward and wrapped her arms around her tightly. It kind of surprised them both because Quinn and Santana barely hugged. "I love you, Santana"

"I love you too, Quinn" Santana said back before they both released from the hug. They both smiled at each other before sitting back down on the bed.

"Oh, Santana, do you wanna know who Quinn kissed the other day?" Brittany asked as she leaned against the pillows on her bed with Santana following.

Quinn's eyes widened before scrambling to the middle of the bed, facing the two girls. "Brittany!" She screeched. Brittany snickered but moved her mouth closer to Santana's ear. Her expression went from confused to amused in a matter of seconds.

"Rachel? You kissed Rachel!?"

Quinn blushed and looked down a little before flailing her hands in the air. "Okay, yes! I did, I kissed Rachel" Quinn admits.

Brittany and Santana give each other a look before Santana leans forward. "So… do you like her?"

"Maybe…"

"Oh you _so_ do" Brittany nodded in agreement. Santana was smiling now and it made Brittany incredibly happy. She was glad that she was able to put Santana in a happy mood again, especially so quickly after she had been hurt. Brittany suddenly got an idea.

"Oh, I know what we should do! We should invite Rachel over, we can all have a big sleepover" Brittany suggested. She turned her head towards Santana and saw her smiling and nodded.

"Yeah. We can embarrass Quinn like crazy"

"Okay, yes. Quinn give me your phone"

Quinn gasped. "No! I'm not just going to invite her over just so you guys can embarrass me"

Brittany pouted. "We're not going to embarrass you _that_ much. Come on, Tani wants to. It'll be fun and also we'll get to know your future girlfriend!"

Quinn, giving up on trying to argue with the two, got her phone out of her pocket and handed it to Brittany who bounces up and down on her butt on the bed and looked through her phone. Santana moved and leaned in closer to Brittany was she dialed Rachel's number. It was only around 7pm so she hoped she wouldn't say no.

"Hi, Rachel! It's Brittany. Yeah, so I was wondering if you would like to come over for a sleepover tonight at my place. Quinn's here and she would love it if you came?" Santana could hear a voice coming from the phone but she couldn't make out what it was saying. "Oh goodie. Okay, come as soon as you can. Quinn's waiting" Brittany drew out the last word and then hung up, handing the phone back to Quinn.

"Thank you" Quinn said assertively and tossed her phone onto the bed a little further away from her.

Quinn looked back at Santana who brought her hand up to her cheek that was beginning to ache. She touched it experimentally and cringed and groaned in pain. Brittany noticed and leaned over to pull Santana's hand away from her face and wrapped her hands around Santana's lower waist, pulling her closer to her. Santana giggled a little and smiled up at Brittany.

"I'm going to get you ice, Santana" Quinn said but they didn't hear her. Quinn hoped off the bed and wondered downstairs.

"You're strong, Britt" Santana commented. She was _much_ closer to Brittany now, and she loved it. Brittany giggled and shrugged. She moved one hand from Santana's waist to brush some hair out of her face.

"I love you, Tani," she whispered. She was almost mesmerized by Santana. She was so beautiful, everything about her was perfect. "And you're so beautiful"

Santana looked down and shrugged, "You're just being nice".

"You're really beautiful… and I really want to kiss you right now" Brittany confessed. Santana smiled and looked up at Brittany, who was smiling back. She put her hand on the back on Brittany's neck and pressing their lips together. Brittany smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, pulling her in closer.

They broke apart just in time for Quinn to walk back through the door with an icepack for Santana's face. Quinn gave them both a curious look as she handed her the icepack. "What were you guys doing?" Both Brittany and Santana giggled and looked at each other but didn't answer Quinn.

A few moments later the doorbell went off and Quinn leapt off the bed. "I'll get it!" Quinn rushes down the stairs and opens the front door, revealing a slightly startled Rachel Berry.

"Hi Quinn! Are you going to invite me inside?"

"Oh! Right yes, of course" Quinn stuttered and opened the door, making way for Rachel to enter the house.

"Santana and Brittany are upstairs" Quinn said while she started to walk up the stairs, Rachel following. When they entered the room, Santana and Brittany were talking about how they thought her far Quinn and Rachel had actually gotten, causing Quinn to gasp and hit Brittany on the shoulder.

Rachel chuckled and dropped the small duffel bag she brought in the corner of the room and joined them all on the bed, next to Quinn who was blushing. "Quinnie, you're so cute when you blush"

"Oh Quinnie!" Santana gasped dramatically and started laughing with Brittany, resulting in another hit by Quinn on her shoulder.

"Shut up, Santana!"

"Okay guys that's enough. Let's go downstairs, I'll make some dinner and we can watch TV with Ali" Brittany said as she hoped off the bed and made her way downstairs and the rest followed. They all sat down on the couch around Alison, who wasn't exactly very approving of them changing the channel, while Brittany made her way to the kitchen and started to make some spaghetti for all of them. Quinn, of course, was sitting as close to Rachel as possible with basically sitting on her lap and started fiddling with her own fingers, trying to resist the urge to reach out for Rachel's hand.

Alison scooted over the couch to Santana and grabbed her hand. "Tana, can I cuddle with you?"

Santana turned her lips into a smile, "of course". Alison wrapped her hands around Santana's upper arm and place her head on her shoulder, while Santana draped her left arm over Alison's shoulder and pulled her closer.

* * *

Brittany had finished making dinner 45 minutes later and finished putting them all into bowls when her mother walked through the door.

"Mum!" Alison squealed and jumped off the couch and ran to her mother at the door.

"Hi, baby, how was your day?" her mother asked as she got lead from the front door to the living room by her daughter and onto the couch.

"It was fine, Brittany spent most the day in her room so it was fine".

Brittany then announced that she had finished dinner and they should come get it before it gets cold. They all ate dinner together while watching TV. Santana introduced Rachel as Quinn's girlfriend, making both Quinn and Rachel blush.

Eventually everyone finished their dinner and the 4 girls made their way upstairs. Brittany flopped down a mattress onto the floor for Rachel and Quinn. Santana encouraged them to sleep as close to each other as possible, also saying that 'anything could happen'. They both scoffed at her, and Santana just shrugged her shoulders.

Once Rachel and Quinn settled in, Brittany and Santana changed into their pajamas and climbed into Brittany's bed together. They talked for a while about nothing important before everyone started to get tired so Quinn turned off the light. Santana turned on her side and blindly reached behind her for Brittany's hand. Once she found it, she gently tugged if forward until Brittany's front was pressed into Santana's back.

"You're soft" Brittany whispered into Santana's ear, causing shivers to run down her spine and she chuckled. Brittany draped an arm over Santana's middle and pulled her closer, nuzzling into Santana's hair. "I love you, Tani".

"I love you too, Britt" Santana whispered back. Right after she stopped talking, they both heard a small moan coming from the floor where Quinn and Rachel were. They could see the covers moving around a little and Santana almost burst into laughter.

"Oh, Quinnie, that feels so good!" Santana said quietly, but dramatically, forcing the moving in the sheets to come to a halt.

"Dammit Santana" they heard Quinn mumble before they heard louder ruffling and then silence.

Santana turned her head towards Brittany, who was smiling wickedly, and giggled softly. She mouthed 'goodnight' and then turned back over, snuggling back into Brittany's body, and falling asleep.

* * *

**I tried to make it a cute ending, so hopefully you guys like it. Some of you have reviewed and told me that you don't like seeing Santana so sad all the time, neither do I. I promise she will get a little happier as the story progressed. And if you don't already know, I like faberry more than brittana so of course I was going to put it in this story. I'm planning on making them more involved characters so hopefully you like them. **

**Give me suggestions for things you would like to see happen and I'll see which ones I can fit in. Tell me if I've made any spellings mistakes or anything like that. Please review x**


	9. Chapter 9

Early Tuesday morning, all girls groaned when the light from the hallway beamed into the room when Brittany's mother came in to wake them up for school. "Girls, you better get up soon otherwise you're going to be late" she warned.

All four girl slowly rolled out of bed and made their way downstairs, where they were greeted by Brittany's mother and sister. They all sat in the living room with Alison while Brittany's mother made them all breakfast.

Quinn and Rachel ate their food quickly and then left, Quinn giving Rachel a ride home before school. Brittany was too caught up in her conversations with her mother and sister to notice that Santana hadn't even touched the food that was set in front of her.

Ever since waking up this morning, Santana has felt empty and numb. She could barely push herself to get out of bed with the others. She's also barely said anything to anyone this morning, only saying a quick 'thank you' to Brittany's mother for the food, but then nothing.

When it was time to get dressed and ready, Santana and Brittany went upstairs while Brittany's mother collected the dishes from everyone's breakfast. She noticed that Santana hadn't eaten anything of their plates and when Brittany came down from her room she went to talk to her.

"Honey, is Santana feeling okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure. Why?" Brittany asks. She trying to pack everything into her bag and some things for Santana while not trying to be late as well.

"She didn't eat anything for breakfast and I want to make sure that she's okay" her mother said.

"I'll talk to her, I promise".

* * *

It's the second last period of the day and Brittany is sitting in her history class. On the drive to school she asked Santana if something was wrong, telling her that her mother noticed that she didn't anything. She said she was fine and that she was just too nervous about going back to school to eat.

10 minutes before the bell rang for lunch, a girl turned up at Brittany's classroom door. The teacher waved her in. "What's this about?"

"Um, I'm from Santana's class. The teacher asked me to come here because Santana-she had a panic attack during gym and she won't go to the nurse without Brittany, so the teacher thought that Brittany could take her there" the girl said.

"Oh no, um okay. Brittany take your things and make sure Santana gets to the nurse okay" the teacher said and the girl exited the room. Brittany quickly packed up her things and followed the girl to the gym.

She pushed open the doors and dumped her bag on the floor. She made her way across the floor to where Santana was sitting on a chair with her head in her hands. She approached her cautiously, the class moving out of her way and kneeled next to her on the ground. "Tani? It's me, Britt. Do you want to go to the nurse?" she asked softly, she could tell that Santana had been crying and she didn't want to set off again.

Santana shook her head faintly, "I just wanna go home," she croaked. "Please". Brittany nodded and put her hand on Santana's knee and stood up. Most of her class had cleared out around the room by now so Santana wasn't as crowded. She helped her out of the chair, grabbed her bag, and took her to the nurse.

Santana walked ahead of Brittany into the room and collapsed onto the bed, turning onto her side, facing the wall. Brittany walked up to the nurse sitting at her desk and explain what happened, asking if she can stay with her until the end of school. The nurse agreed and Brittany pulled a chair up next to Santana, who was already asleep. Brittany pulled a book out of her bag and began to read, in hopes that it would pass the time quicker.

* * *

Eventually, school ended and Santana and Brittany were allowed to leave. Santana had slept without waking for two hours. She barely even moved. When she had to wake up, she groaned and slowly rolled off of the bed. It wasn't anything close to comfortable but it was better than nothing. She was still so tired.

Brittany had helped Santana into her car and they were currently pulling out of the school parking lot

Most of Santana's day was alright, up until gym. They made her change into a red short sleeved shirt and small black shorts. Everyone could see her cuts. Everyone was staring at her. They were whispering to their friends about it and Santana couldn't deal. Her heart started to pound in her chest and she started to dizzy. That's when she broke down.

The car ride to Brittany's house was mostly silent, only a few words from Brittany asking if Santana was okay and Santana staying silent.

When they made it to Brittany's house, Santana got out of the car and into the house without a word to Brittany. She was so exhausted from her attack today that she didn't acknowledge Brittany's mother's presence in the living room and continued up the stairs towards Brittany's room.

She shut the door quietly, crawled onto Brittany's bed and got under the covers. She didn't want to be conscious anymore, she was too tired. She was practically asleep by the time her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Back downstairs, Brittany had just walked in the front door. She walked into the living room where she found her mother. "Where did Santana go?" she asked with furrowed eyebrows and looked around a little.

"She's upstairs, sweetie," her mother said, turning her attention away from the TV to Brittany. "She looked tired, she may have gone to sleep."

Brittany nodded her head and sat next to her mother on the couch. She knew how tired she was so she knew she needed her sleep and shouldn't be awoken. She leaned her head against her mother's shoulder.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah… I'm fine. I'm just really worried about Santana. She had a panic attack today at gym and she hasn't really talked to me since. I just don't want her to hurt herself…"

"I'm sure she'll be okay, just give her some time" she mother said, draping an arm over her shoulder. "Do you want to go pick up your sister with me?"

"Yeah, I'll just go check on Tani first" Brittany said, getting off the couch. She peaked into her bedroom to find Santana curled up in the fetus position on the far side of the bed. She looked so small and innocent. Brittany walked over to her, leaning over the bed to kiss her temple. She brushed some hair away from Santana's face before making her way back downstairs and out of the front door with her mother.

* * *

Half an hour later Brittany returned home with her sister and mother in tow. The whole way home Alison was telling Brittany and her mother about her day. It was the usual school day for her but she made it sound so much more exciting than it actually was.

Brittany opened the front door and found it silent. She guessed that Santana was still asleep. Then again, she wasn't gone for that long.

Her mother announced that she was going to make some dinner for everyone while Brittany made her way upstairs towards her room to check on Santana. She walked softly to the door and opened it quietly.

Brittany wasn't expecting to see this when she opened the door. On the bed was Santana, slouched against the pillows, with a bottle in her hand and a few pills scattered around. "Santana!" she screamed. She rushed towards the bed, climbing onto it and grabbed Santana's shoulder. She shook them with all her might, hoping that that would wake her up. "Santana, please! Not again, not again…"

"Brittany? Are you okay up there?" Brittany's mother shouted from upstairs.

"I need help! Please, mum, get up here!"

A few moments later Brittany's mother was standing at Brittany's bedroom door is shock. "Oh my…"

"Mum, you have to call the ambulance. Please!" Brittany said, panicked. "She can't be dead… she can't be dead". Santana was felt clammy. Her pulse was faint and uneven, but it was better than nothing. Brittany pulled Santana against herself and started to rock her back and forth. She couldn't deal with losing her. She had already almost lost her before she couldn't be able to lose her for real.

Brittany's mother went downstairs to call the ambulance and to make sure that Alison didn't go up there. She went back upstairs to inform Brittany that she called the ambulance and it wouldn't be too long until they get here. The only sound coming from the house was Brittany crying until sirens from an ambulance echoed through the street.

* * *

Sorry that this took so long, school kept me busy. Hopefully you guys liked it and I'm sorry for the sad ending but it will be all better soon so don't worry. Don't forget to review.


	10. Chapter 10

The persistent beeping is what awoke Santana. She grunted at the intruding sound and attempted to move away from it. She heard quick movements off to her side before she felt a hand on her forearm. She heard voices but she couldn't make out what they were saying, they were too muffled. All she could hear was her name being called before she fell back into a state of deep sleep.

* * *

"She made a sound! Did you hear it, mum?" Brittany said through tears.

"I heard it, baby" Brittany's mother replied, rubbing comforting circles on her daughters back. She couldn't believe this was happening, she never imaged that it would. She didn't know that Santana was in such pain that she would try to take her own life.

"Is that good? Does that mean she's going to wake up? Does it mean that she'll be okay?" Brittany asks.

"I think so, honey, I think so…" Brittany's mother said.

* * *

It was a few hours later when Santana finally awoke, for good this time. She was confused that first but soon realized where she was.

"No… no, no, no!" Santana croaked, tears swelling in her eyes. She lifted her left arm where an IV tube was stuck in her arm at her elbow joint and a heart rate monitor was clamped on her slender finger. She dropped her arm back on the uncomfortable hospital be din annoyance.

Brittany, who had their head resting against the bed on the right side of Santana, was jolted awake by her movements. "Santana… you're awake" she said breathlessly.

"Sadly" Santana replied harshly but with a croaky voice.

Brittany took an intake of breathe at Santana's words. She pushed herself upright and got to her feet. "Um, I'm going to get my mum and tell her you're awake. I'll be right back…" Brittany said and quickly shuffled out of the room.

Santana bit her lip and watched Brittany retreat out of the room. She knew that her words upset Brittany, but she wasn't going to lie and say that she was excited that she was still alive. She was devastated that her suicide attempt didn't work.

She thought that if she took enough of whatever was in Brittany's medicine cabinet that it would be enough to kill her. Sadly, she was wrong.

A few minutes later, Brittany returned to the room with her mother in tow. Santana didn't notice her coming back into the room first, she was too caught up in mentally beating herself up for not being successful.

"Santana, you're awake! How are you feeling?" Brittany's mother said excitedly and took a seat on the left side Santana.

"I feel freaking fantastic, thank you for asking" Santana said sarcastically, not look at Brittany or her mother.

Brittany's mother frowned and leaned forward. She placed a hand on Santana's shoulder to which Santana shrugged off. "I know you're probably not happy with being alive right now, but Brittany and I are _really_ happy that you are".

"You have no idea what I'm feeling, so would you just shut up and go away?" Santana snapped, whipping her head around to look at Brittany's mother.

"Santana, I know that you are upset, but you have no right to speak to me like that" Brittany's mother defended with a serious face.

"Oh, I am more than just _upset_. I am so _fucking_ angry at myself and hate myself so _fucking_ much right now, but you wouldn't understand the half of it. You know everything would have been much better if you just left me and let me die!" Santana screamed, tears streaming down her face.

Brittany was standing in the corner with tears streaming down her cheeks. She was having trouble keeping herself upright. She watches as her mother stood up and left the room. She didn't know what to do. After hearing everything that Santana had just said she knew that she wasn't going to be able to help Santana herself. Santana needed professional help.

Brittany couldn't hold herself together anymore and she turned to leave the room but as she was about to make it out the door she crashed into a doctor.

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you okay?" Brittany just nodded, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand on her way out of the room.

The doctor furrowed her brows and continued the rest of the way into Santana's hospital room until she reached the end of the hospital bed. "Is everything okay?" she asked Santana, who was trying to wipe of the tears on cheeks while holding back tears.

"Everything is just fine" She replied.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to bring your family back inside…?"

"They aren't my family"

"Oh… okay then. I just came 'round to inform your family of your condition, but seeing as you don't have any with you right now… I'll just tell you. As you know, you ingested a large amount of sleeping pills and pain killers which we had to flush out of your system when you arrived here. Your vitals are stable and everything seems good but we are going to have to keep you for 72 hour suicide watch. Just press the call button if you need anything, okay?" Santana nodded.

"Okay, I'll be checking up on you later" with that the doctor left the room and sufficiently leaving Santana alone.

Santana sighed and moved onto her side. She pulled her knees up to her chest and let her tears flow freely. She has only been conscious for an hour or so and she was already sick and tired of it. Within a few minutes of silently crying, Santana had slowly drifted into a deep sleep filled with nightmares.

* * *

Soon after Santana had fallen asleep, Brittany turned to her room in hopes that she was able to talk to the brunette without upsetting her. She was so lost, she had no idea what to do. But she wanted to help her badly. It hurt so much to see someone she loved so much in so much pain.

She wished that she was able to take away every single one of Santana's troubles so she was happy and never had to deal with anything negative anymore.

Brittany took a seat close to the hospital bed and reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind the sleeping girl's ear. She felt tears swell to her eyes as she pushed herself up on her elbows and leaned herself to kiss Santana on the cheek.

"I love you Santana… I love you so much… please don't leave me, please…" she pleaded, bursting into tears. She alternated between softly stroking up and down Santana's hand and tracing oh so soft patterns on her cheek.

* * *

**Sorry about the short chapter and how long it took to write it up but I wrote multiple scenarios of how this would go and I thought this one would be the best because I was writing from experience and it was easier to write and make it more believable. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and please review.**


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